Day Nine – Too lazy to be a slob

The following post is from a series of emails I wrote to my girlfriend at the time, whilst on a trip to Africa. She is now my wife, so I did something right.

Last night was a tiring, long, unsatisfying night, after we got halfway up the mountain, carrying tents, blankets, food, saucepans, etc, etc; when Mohau got called by his angry girlfriend, and we came back down. On the long walk home, I was feeling a bit depressed, as you might understand.

So this morning, I decided to have a massive lie-in. Sleep as long as I want, write off the whole day if necessary. 8:30. That was it. The latest my body could stay asleep for. To my internal clock, still adjusting from the 2 hour difference, I would still say that is around 7:30 in equivalence. Rubbish – I’m clearly getting far too mature for all this lazing around and doing nothing. I blame all the cups of tea I’m drinking out here.

I decided it was time to lay in bed, and read a book. I was gripped, so gripped that, realising I needed a shower, I walked to the bathroom and undressed, but then stood in the bathroom for half an hour reading the end of the book, naked. It was a weird thing, called “We need to talk about Kevin”. Very spooky, very frightening. I enjoyed it a lot, or rather, it deeply intrigued me. I don’t even know if I liked it. Look it up on Amazon.

I also tried to train the dogs. First I tried with Baby, who is basically a large, irritating equivalent of Heze. “Sit”, went well, as long as by “Sit”, I actually meant “Fling yourself onto your back, kicking my legs with your back feet, and try to propel yourself along through the gap between my legs in a frantic shuffling motion that, if arisen in the fifties, would have been called something like ‘The Fanny Thrust’. And then try to chew my toes”. Giving up on this, I tried “Stay”. This was a lot more successful, or it would have been, if Baby hadn’t thought I’d just said “Sit” again; running after me as I backed away, almost launching herself at my knees in order to land on her back and dutifully fulfil her interpretation of my command. At this point, I felt the day’s training had been very effective, and it was time to try Erica.

She is a lot more shy, and I was hopeful that without the endless enthusiasm that Baby displays, she might be easier to train. “Sit”, was ignored, although when I bent down near her, she did jump up at me repeatedly, snapping at my face. When forcing her down onto her back legs, to explain what the sitting position entailed, she went completely limp, lying on the back with her feet in the air. Every single time. Leaving that for another day, I moved onto “Stay”. Unlike Baby, she did this perfectly, staying exactly where she was. Proud of this victory, I called her. She completely ignored me. I called again, which felicitated a large yawn on her part. She still didn’t move though. At this point, I tied large rocks to the two of them, and threw them both in the pool.

Anyway, my day today has been very restful (Ian who I am staying with, has like 100 Clive Cussler books!!), and should be more exciting, since hopefully we will get to go up the mountain around 4. I don’t know when I will get a chance to upload this, but I do miss you.

“But shouldn’t your devout life give you confidence now? Shouldn’t your exemplary life give you hope? Think! Has a truly innocent person ever ended up on the scrap heap? Do genuinely upright people ever lose out in the end? It’s my observation that those who plow evil and sow trouble reap evil and trouble. One breath from God and they fall apart, one blast of his anger and there’s nothing left of them.”
Job 4:9

Reading through Job at the moment in that Cover to Cover thing. It’s a powerful book – I think it was written as a play; not sure how true it is, but that doesn’t really matter.
xC

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