The following post is from a series of emails I wrote to my girlfriend at the time, whilst on a trip to Africa. She is now my wife, so I did something right.
As you are hearing, I had a bad week, this week. Today we had a meeting with a woman from the Health Department. We wanted to say to her; if you could have money in any area what would it be. This was so that we could prepare a proposal that addresses the areas that need work in our district.
We did ask her that question. Unfortunately, she didn’t listen. After 20 minutes of her telling us that the Health Department will never give us money to employ staff, despite the fact that we just had a briefing meeting with them, where they explained what they want to do is give us money to employ staff. And she just wouldn’t listen.
It was annoying, but welcome to officialdom within Africa. We actually found out the next day that the compulsory meeting regarding the proposal had been moved, without anyone telling us, from the 23rd to Friday! So the woman, instead of lecturing us on rubbish, could actually have shared the information that she definitely knew.
This afternoon, Grant came round to play Splash, which I won very narrowly. First game I failed at, but the next two were fine, taking me to a great victory. Unfortunately the weather here has not been very sunny, so the pool is freezing. It needs three or four warm days to become warm. On the plus side, if you have have 4 hot days, then the next is cold, all day the water is still warm.
In the evening I went to cell group. Rather than any program, tonight a woman shared her pain. Her husband has been an alcoholic for 12 years, and her life is misery. It was a hard evening, but everyone shared her pain, with prayer for the both of them, with advice and with love.
I spent at least an hour afterwards just lifting up the husband to God, going over and over the qualities of an elder from Titus, asking God to bring those qualities forward.
This is the verse the lady shared, feeling that God was using them to allow her to go away for a month, to have a break:
“As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.”
On the way home, wearing no shoes, I got trapped by a Bull Mastiff standing in the middle of the road growling. My only option was to walk an extra 2 blocks in order to avoid the dog. Still, I got home with all the skin on my legs and face still intact.
2 thoughts on “Day Thirty Four – Prayer and Inefficiency”
love you baby waby. like that you named yourself poo poo la pee cos thats what you are..!
you need to take a piccie of yourself – i miss your face. i dont know y. hehe
alpha was really good – glad i went. i got there and we had a team meeting and Steve and myself were named as the extra team leaders and i just felt like wow ive been noticed for once and it felt good. Mick did a little talk just on how he became a christian and what his perceptions were of christians growing up etc and then we went into small groups (11) to chat about stuff and get to know each other. Steve led and i asked a few questions. There were only 2 non christians, one of which i knew from working with at bar 1 (one of the only people i could chat to there!) so that was nice and i felt i could talk to her more easily. they both seemed really interested and up for it – i have a good feeling about them becoming christians but obviously the enemy wont so we’ll see how it goes.
We talked about why we’re doing form and what we want to get out of this year in huddle today. Its difficult cos whereas as some had more practical/ eventful stuff they wanted to achieve mine was more character building. Jude wanted targets but i couldnt give any – i said that i dont see the end of form the end of my journey and i dont want to put limits on that. i think she respected that. id like to have things to aim for in my life but ive realised that i dont really want a plan, i just want to see where God takes me and trust him in that. Things never turn out the way you think they will so plans in effect are doomed to fail. being organised is different. but Alpha this evening has stirred something in me – i think i realised again how much i love God and want to see him glorified and shared. i want to see Harriet and her boyfriend saved – no ifs or buts. she is so close, so i really pray she comes to the next alpha. its weird how although i met harriet over 3 years ago now and we have had so many conversations about God s ince then its only now that im really seeing fruit. God really is outside time!
Form has been hard to day as i continue to struggle with certain mentalities etc. we did a pastor workshop with Alan and the first thing he asked was to draw a picture of the stereotypical pastor – i didnt really know what to draw and felt a bit attacked but it acme good in the end. then Mick came to talk to us about revelation. As i suspected he talked about the first few chapters and the last few as they make vague sense. he actually said the middle bit was a bit of a blip and we shouldnt get tangled up in it. i agree to an extent but it still annoyed me. Is it right to call some part of the scripture a blip – yes it’s hard to understand but should we then ignore it and not take it literally or attempt to unpick it to be fully aware of what to expect?surely there can be a create covered in eyes in heaven?
i watched the discernment dvds with lewis the other day and they were eye opening. loads of stuff like feeling demons and angels, recognising generational curses, lay lines and learning how to break them was a bit mond blowing. i have tried to feel for angels but im not having much luck so far lol. In time maybe. I just dont think im ready yet or have the support around me to cope. i mean yeah lewis is great but he’s gonna be gone in like 5 months and then ill just be left with people who dont know and dont want to know about this stuff, so i dunno. its like i want to do this course in june but then what use will it be if im not supported in my beliefs? i cant really deliver demons etc on my own! the accountability wont be there. Ewan doesnt want to do the course anymore because he’s done his research and doesnt think that generational curses are biblical enough. Lewis as you can imgine was rather angry and felt attacked. its interesting how much ewan has come out of his shell. im aware of how lewis and i tend to think the same on things so can be seen to be having ‘chats’ and i dont want to sideline myself or come across as bitching or whatever (which im not!) but u know what i mean. its hard when no one else gets it – u need to rant. u know that.
i also want to reassure you that i love you and i do not have any romantic feelings towards Lewis. it has been weird hanging out with him loads recently and him sharing his deepest with me. its been great getting to know him but i have been aware of how others could perceive our relationship and how it could potentially be manipulated. I am accountable to Davina about it. but yeah basically i love you and no one could replace you – cant wait to have you back on sunday.
ive talked for ages, sorry!
love n hugs
I’m not sure i believe in generational curses, as such. I agree with Ewan, not biblical enough, like tithing.
I think that if ur dad is an alcoholic, then you are more likely to be an alcoholic, and i think that is a vicious circle that needs to be broken, but that isn’t a generational “curse” as such.
That said, you can deliver demons on your own, or with Jesus, and I don’t think you need church accountability to be a radical christian.
I also know that you and lewis are having an affair.
I’ve never been a big thing on the mega spiritual side of christianity. Angels, demons, curses, falling in the spirit, all these things.
I believe in most of them, but i don’t see why it matters: ie. if i believe in Angels, will i act in my life any differently? Or should i look at photos with blotches in, and try and believe they are angels, with no biblical basis? hmm.